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Podcast 19: 14 Ways to Be Fearless

Fear and Uncertainty Solutions

Top Books on Emotional Intelligence

Podcast (Audio Only)

In this episode Joanne Williams, LCSW discusses 14 way to be fearless

Summary of today Podcast: 

  1. Review why we have fear and how to get to Fearlessness
  2. Why we celebrate at Halloween even with fear
  3. 14 ways to be Fearless
  4. A Fear to Fearless Course coming out in January

       Question for today is? Is fear “locked in” forever.

We know with change, there is uncertainty and fear or anxiety.

If we don’t like fear,…. then why do we like Horror films and scaring each other at Halloween?

Maybe we understand that facing fear can really help us.  Or Understand that we can use exposure therapy which is to flood your senses with fear so that your senses can’t stay at that high level.

Lets look at 14 way to be fearless from lifehack.org article. By Anthony Mazzocchi

We all have fear – it’s an emotion that’s as normal as breathing.

The problem is that most people cling to their fears and are therefore unable to move forward in their lives with necessary change Mazzocchi says.  As a therapist, I understand that it is not that we consciously cling to fear.  It is that our brain is stuck in fear and clients with panic or PTSD can’t get it unstuck.

Mazzocchi reports that he has learned a lot about fear in his  life as a professional musician, and He learned that the only difference between people who achieve greatness and those who do not is that the former ditched their fear.  Many of the methods he has used to prepare for huge performances have helped me to conquer fear in other areas of life.

Here’s how you can start overcoming fear:
1. Be aware of fear in your life. Before you can begin overcoming fear, you have to admit that you have it. Perhaps fear is your “normal” state of being, and that is quite a bit to overcome all at once.  Write down some aspects of your life where have fear;  getting them down on paper is important, because trying to simply think them through never works.

  1. Stare at fearless people. Fill your brain with images of what you want your “future self” to look like.  Connect with as many role models as you can, whether in person, through a book, or online.  Use these examples as an energy source to combat your fear.
  2. Be objective.Take an interest in investigating your fears. Ask yourself about what thoughts generate your fear, where you feel the fear, and how you react to it. Try to be an objective observer of your own life.
  3. Be willing to look stupid.  Remember:  Wayne Gretzky fell on his tail a ton, and Itzhak Perlman has had horrible performances.  Once you are willing to risk the emotional pain of making mistakes, you will shed more fear than you ever imagined.  Know that making mistakes will help you obtain information you use to create the correct behaviors, and that everyone who has ever done something great has failed more than once. I say to do it as young as possible, it seems easier that when you are an adult, when you “should “ know better. Or encourage your kids to try different things or be willing to make mistakes that lead to life lessons.
  4. Adopt a gratitude mindset. Whenever you feel fear, try to feel grateful instead. He had been performing a lot of solos recently, and it is scary!  Instead of freaking out, He have decided to be grateful for the opportunity to communicate musically with so many people, and he knew that they are there to genuinely listen to me play and root me on. Listen to how he is CHOOSING to replace the fear with gratitude.
  5.  Seek out teachers.  It’s never too late to have a teacher; we are never done learning.  Seek out someone who scares you a littlenot a polite person who always makes you feel warm and fuzzy.  Seek out someone who watches you closely, is brutally honest, and gives clear directions on how you can get better at whatever scares you. They aren’t going to hurt you, they will stretch you.
  6. Share.How often do we hold the negative in, because we are afraid of how others might react?  Sharing helps, because you will realize that many people feel the same way as you do, and have stories to share as well.  Do you have a fear of success, or a fear of failure?  Sharing with someone can help you examine what you truly want from life, and where your fears come from and how it is stopping you from getting your goals.

Instead of focusing on the fear which will increase it, if sharing is done to understand how that person handled it, or what they learned and moved through, is a great way to understand how someone else handles their fears.

  1. Embrace struggle.  Most of us instinctively avoid struggle, because it feels like failure, and that scares us, but the term “no pain, no gain” holds true.  To develop skills, it is a necessity that we struggle, so we must embrace it.  Once we struggle, fear slowly disintegrates because you face it. Another article was saying that many of our young adults have been “Coddled” and now have not learned how to tolerate feeling fearful. This puts them at a disadvantage at college if they need a “safe space” to cope, because they haven’t learned other coping skills with conflict, internal or external.
  2. Read.This is Mazzochhi, personal favorite. Reading a good book related to your specific fear can open new doors on how you can get rid of it. He likes to constantly fill his world with motivational and inspirational books on, and related to, the topic I’m dealing with.

I really love this one too.  Continual emotional education keeps your mind and emotions in check.  Even if you just read a few pages each day.  Read something that moves your emotional intelligence forward.

  1. Use visualization.Imagine yourself in a scary situation without fear. Watch people do things fearlessly that would normally freak you out.  Visualize yourself as that person.  Create a very clear picture of fearlessness in your mind with you in it. Our brains don’t know the difference between actual or virtual.  Train your brain to be ok with something that is out of your comfort zone.
  2. Put things in perspective.Putting your negative thoughts in perspective is a huge way to overcome fear. In the grand scheme of life, why are you afraid? While you are freaking out about something, life is moving on without you.  Sometimes it’s helpful to remember this. Or think what I will feel like in one year, if I don’t learn to cope now. A hint: it only gets worse with more age because you have more experiences to be fearful of.
  3. Release control.Of course, we want to be in control, but when we relinquish it we tend to free ourselves up.  Allow yourself to make mistakesafter all, that’s where learning and growth really happens.  We learn from our failures, but to fail we need to release control. You will only let go when you have more to gain than lose. Refocus on what is more important than keeping control.
  4. Think about the worst-case scenario.What’s the worst that could happen? Mazzocchi say he has crumbled on stage in front of hundreds of people. My wife still loved me; I lived. Life goes on. Know that it will never be that bad.
  5. Look within.What is the root of your fear? Meditate on it. Look inside and ask yourself when the fear started: How far back does your fear go? Did you have an early failure that has stuck with you?  Explore it.  That’s what life is all about. There is the much more than Marchocci explains here, when We have had things happen to us, our emotional brain protects us with fear to stop us from doing things that might hurt or kill us.  Looking within and replacing your fear with reassurance is a way to work on your fear.  Usually you need a professional if you can’t change this yourself.  Reach out. 

I will be launching a course to Get off the Bench and into the Game of Life, to go from Fear to Fearless starting in January.  I will be sharing very targeted ways to aim at your specific goal in our 6-week guided path to show you the direct route, using 3 secrets, that no one talks about.

I will share, these success strategies that include Universal laws that must work, they are laws, when used with clarity, intention, and focus. 

There is more to life than what You can see right now. Fear has its ways to limit your focus and only see what you can’t do.

With these simple secrets, I will show you how to turn a can’t into a Can, go from the fear brain that holds you back to Being fearless using your logic and analytical part of your brain to  engage your higher mind, to reroute from your fear or emotional brain to put you back in control.

Marchocci says that Overcoming fear requires a growth mindset; an attitude that we can grow and change if we choose. Nothing is “locked in” forever; we can change.  It takes time and practice.  Hopefully, the tips above will help you begin your journey to ditch fear.

I agree, that to unlock your fear, you will need to do your own heart-core inner work.   But it is possible and in this experiential workshop you will be able to understand and work through your fear.

All of our podcasts at AS are designed to assist you overcoming anxiety, so I hope you will listen to let us know what else will can help you.

Happy Halloween and don’t let the Election distract you from what is important in your life or let fear rule.

Join the Conversation

Our favorite part of recording is answering your questions, from Facebook at AnxietySimplified5.  Leave comments in the comment section, we will answer on a Podcast on that subject.  So, listen for your question.  Or share it with someone who may be helped with that answer. 

Our next podcast: Living an Awesome life with Karen Stultz

Podcast 18: Early Signs of Autism

The Challenges living with an Autistic Child

Podcast (Audio Only)

In this episode Joanne Williams, LCSW discusses: Early signs of Autism with Jack Ori, MSW Part 2 Definitions of Autism and affects that can have on families. He is an author of a novel ‘Reinventing Hannah’ and a guide to empower youth to live authentically.

Summary of today Podcast:

  • An interview with Jack Ori, MSW who tells his story learning in his 30’s he has autism.
  • Social Obstacles living authenticity with autism
  • Question for today is? Can you have autism with high intellect
  • Jack’s share that there are positives to who you are. Help find the treasures within and it is not hopeless.

    Jackaori.com/lovestandingout Guide for teens.

Join the Conversation

Our favorite part of recording is answering your questions, from Face book at AnxietySimplified.net.  Leave comments in the comment section, we will answer on a Podcast on that subject.  So, listen for your question.  Or share it with someone who may be helped with that answer. 

Our next podcast: Living an Awesome life with Karen Stultz

See other podcast at AnxietySimplified.net 

Podcast 17: Transgender Support Groups and Resources

Podcast 17: Transgender Support Groups and Resources

Podcast (Audio Only)

In this episode Joanne Williams, LCSW discusses: Transgender Life with Jack Ori, MSW Part 1 Definitions of the pronouns for use when discussing Transgender issues. How to Live Authentically with the 1st steps to expressing and Accepting who you are.

Summary of today Podcast:

  • An interview with Jack Ori, MSW who tells his story of his gender transition
  • Mental Health Issues involved with transitioning
  • Social Obstacles to living authenticity
  • Misperceptions about gay and Lesbians after transitioning
  • Pronouns and Inclusion in our Language
  • What the media gets wrong
  • Question for today is? What is best way to understand a person who is choosing authenticity of being who they while transitioning.
  • Our Interview today is with Jack Ori, MSW. Who graduated from Columbia University. He is an author of a novel ‘Reinventing Hannah’ and a guide to empower youth to live authentically.

We discussed how to Live Authentically in the skin you are in, as he lives opening as a transgender man and then part 2 of the next podcast we will discuss how Jack discovered he was diagnosed with Autism in his 30’s and how autism and effects on his life can have benefits

We will be educated and discuss the pronouns to use for inclusion in our language for the transgender population.

Transgender Support and Resources

Jack made some suggestions and ways to understand about the complicated and confusing topic for parents, teenagers or anyone struggling with their gender identity?

Jack works as a free-lance writer, life coach for transgender and autistic youth and differently abled young adult through his writing and individual and group coaching. He worked at the center for Alternative Sentencing for case management with pre trail clients in any alternative to Bail program.

The question of the day is: With your experience working with Transgender Youth, how can our listeners help to understand what our transgender youth are going thru and ways to increase understanding and support.

He has seen how Medias representation on Mental health has affected lives.

The Social pressures to act a certain way or being or to feel rejected by Society

Self-defined masculinity and femininity by society with unconscious ways of being.

Trans person anxiety -go out and let things go or say things, jury duty presenting.

Paperwork with gender on it makes feeling every time it is presented.

His parents were accepting- but with family anxiety produced.  They felt doubts in their self. They had learned to call them by a certain name at birth.  Awkward situations. Stuck in the middle between parents and their friends.

Youth that their parents are not supported.  He encouraged all young adult to ask for help.  Find someone at school.  High suicide rate at 40%.

Discussed how Policing has affect him and your clients.

Transgender Counseling and Support Groups

Social Justice issues.  Presentation about Transgender clients. An issue is that many persons kicked out of the home and job discrimination. Turn to prostitution to eat. Our jail system is separated by gender cycle of thing that happen starting with issues because of the transgender issue.  Or bad experiences with PO and trauma issues of fear.

Police are not trained to deal with Mental Health issues. Police Officers are there to take in criminals not a mental health issue.  Trainings would help them to take the time to understand the fear that some transgender person has encountered before or the bullying or trauma that they may have had.

There can be many issues that a transgender person can come up against.  Identify with a woman on the license but present as a man.  

Jack’s share that there are positives to who you are. Help find the treasures within and it is not hopeless.

Jackaori.com/lovestandingout Guide for teens.

Join the Conversation

Our favorite part of recording is answering your questions, from Face book at AnxietySimplified.net.  Leave comments in the comment section, we will answer on a Podcast on that subject.  So, listen for your question.  Or share it with someone who may be helped with that answer. 

Our next podcast Autism and its effects on life with Jack Ori, MSW Part 2.

Podcast #16 Overcoming Obstacles – Ways to Stay in Your Own Power Through Adversity

Podcast (Audio Only)

In this episode Joanne Williams, LCSW discusses: Overcoming Obstacles with Meredith Alexander discussing a Real-life Tragedy Story turned into Life Strategies for overcoming obstacles. “Our Scars are our Greatness.” “Our Scars are your Cloak of worthiness” says Meredith Alexander

Summary of today Podcast:

  • An interview with Meredith Alexander who tells her daughters story that still impacted thousands and has been featured in media stories all over the world
  • How to pivot from feeling overwhelmed to the mindset where you can stay positively focused during extreme events in your life?  
  • And how to get to your “end game” in life, that you love waking up for, even when those boulders cross your path!
  • To begin to harness the secrets of the inner and outer game that can help you achieve amazing things — even those, that previously might have seemed impossible. 
  • And we will share some of Meredith favorite Quotes: If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough. A women African Leader
  • Quote from Walt Disney: “I Always Like to Look on the Optimistic side of Life, but, I am realistic enough to know what Life is a complex matter”.
  • Question for today is? Can fear be a good thing to have?

Our Interview today is with Meredith Alexander. She is a bestselling author, peak performance coach, inspirational speaker and G.R.I.T. mindset expert.  Her book is THE SKY IS THE LIMIT hit the #1 New Release in the motivational category on Amazon.

Meredith tells her Daughter’s story of a tragic accident that could have ended her life and the way that she sees the world in a different light now because of it.   She made a conscious choice on the long Plane flight to South American where her daughter was in the ICU, not knowing whether she would be writing her daughters legacy or choosing to rise up and present herself to her daughters bedside as the “Rock” she needed or as the 2nd victim of this accident.  

She rose up, like the Phoenix from the ashes of fear, and she found a way to “Ask a different question” to create a new story than what her doubts wanted to tell her and using Gratitude as a way to feeling whole and healthy through the ordeal and help others find a new story . She created steps in her G.R.I.T Academy to 1st pause first and Identify to get your direction before stepping through the fear.  To create a new way to look at what could be either horrible story or a new beginning. “If your Doubts in your mind are your enemy, You Imagination is your Friend “

She has Created the G.R.I.T academy to help others unlock their True self.  And shares how to make Fear your superpower when harnessed.

Join the Conversation

Our favorite part of recording is answering your questions, from Face book at AnxietySimplified.net.  Leave comments in the comment section, we will answer on a Podcast on that subject.  So, listen for your question.  Or share it with someone who may be helped with that answer. 

Listeners can buy Meredith Alexander's book The Sky is the Limit here: http://bit.ly/skyisthelimitstory

Email: meridith@meridithalexander.com

Website: www.meridithalexander.com (speaking)

Website: www.gritmindsetacademy.com (coaching)

Facebook: www.facebook.com/schuyisthelimit 

www.facebook.com/gritmindsetacademy

Our next podcast: Transgender vs Trans with Jack Ori, MSW Part 1Transgender definition/ meaning Transgender dating

See other podcast at AnxietySimplified.net 

Podcast 15: Best Emotional Intelligence Books

Top Books on Emotional Intelligence

Podcast (Audio Only)

In this episode Joanne Williams, LCSW will discuss Top books on Emotional Intelligence Tony Robbins 'Unlimited Power' and Esther Hicks 'Ask it is Given' and comments on how the Words we use Matter and Joanne explains Where our Beliefs come from.  An interview with Cara Lumen about the importance of the words you choose on your Beliefs.

Summary of today Podcast:

  • Quotes from several books that are known for Emotional Intelligence
  • Looking at Beliefs, thought patterns and how they affect our life
  • Learned Helplessness from a Shocking rat experiment
  • Our Emotional Brain and how it affects our thoughts and emotional reactions and how to reroute to our Belief Center
  • An interview Shaman Cara Lumen who discusses Beliefs and how words we use are powerful
  • Question for today is? Where do beliefs come from.

Abraham in Esther Hicks in the book ‘Ask and it is Given’, says our beliefs are just thoughts that we think over and over again repeatedly until we believe those thoughts.

Where do these thoughts come from that turn into Beliefs? Their source must come initially from our parents, our household, or family members were the first impact of words or thoughts that we ever heard. On a conscious level, it would seem to be the case that they come from our immediate surroundings. 

Do you believe the same kinds of things that your mother and father believe?

Or have we changed our beliefs? I would say yes because most of us have similar, maybe not exactly, but you'll hear many say, as we get older, Oh my gosh...I sound exactly like my mother or my father. Whether we like it or not, that does seem to be the case.

Then we develop coping skills or ways to problem solve in our life circumstances.  We all have to figure these kinds of problems out. But, from a child’s viewpoint.

I learned about brain development through Graduate school to be a licensed counsel, but I am no means a neurologist, nor an expert on the brain.  But, I do understand that the emotional brain that is developed starting at 6 months before our rational brain, which starts to develop with rational analytic kind of understanding starting at 12 years and it keeps developing  even until 25 years old or 35 years old. No wonder males must be 25 to rent a car. And the insurance industry has higher rates for males under 25 yr. old.

So, if our emotional brain starts at 6 months and we use it figure out how to get our needs met. We cry and wait to see if someone comes.   We can have an emotional reaction if we get our needs met or if we don’t get them met.   What happens, if no one does come when we are hungry? What do you think that little brain does?  Or if that little brain has pain instilled when it does cry to get it needs met? You can see that many things are happening in our little brains that could affect it.

What do you thinks going on emotionally in a household at 6 months old?  Siblings loving on you or they could be abusing you. Your parents could be loving you or they could be neglecting you. You can almost understand the emotional response to each of these one of these situations on brain development.  I understood as I learned about childhood development that there is such thing as learned helplessness. This could start to happen even to A baby or even a person later in life.  Because of our emotional responses to situations.

In this experiment about Learned Helplessness from Graduate School, there were experiments with rats, that were used to see their response to a Surface with one half that is electrified, and the other half was not. One rat could go between the two sides and get off of the electrified surface and of course they would feel better. The other rat could only stay on the electrified surface and couldn’t get off it.

It was not enough electricity so that it would kill the rat it was just painful and at some point, because the pain did not stop they gave up trying.

This is where the term learned helplessness came about. At some point you give up when things are just are too painful and it things don’t get better or stop. There seems to be no way out we just stopped trying. How sad is that to give up or succumb to a life experience because you can’t figure a way out.

Can you see how victim thinking could start very early when there is no way out for a child under age 12, when you don’t have the cognitive abilities to discern or figure out options. Or how personality disordered can start to manipulate the situation to get your way, If it works then you repeat it, maybe through life.  If if doesn’t work what happens to that child?  Maybe they lash out, get angry and believe that the work is not a safe place to live. 

This one Belief can make or Break a child’s view of the world.  Is it a safe place or not?

I remember being at seminar with Tony Robbins, the great Motivational Speaker, 35 years ago and He had just written his first book was ‘Unlimited Power’, he said that 90% of our beliefs are formed by the time we are 8 years old and 95% of our Beliefs by the time we are18 yrs.  That is a means what we belief when we young stick with us for life.

No wonder they call it the formative years.

Aristotle the Greek philosopher once said “Give me a child until he is 7 and I will show you the man”

So what can we do about changing our Beliefs?

  1. Understanding these Belief points can help you understand why people do what they do and believe the things that they do. It might make you more compassionate and help you understand how to respond. Maybe you don’t respond to their reaction, you respond to what they may not understand.
  2. I hope this Helps you to be kinder to yourself and to understand where your beliefs are coming from. It’s a child’s view. Maybe that is why you are the way you are and if you don’t like it, be aware of it and Change it.
  3. Beliefs are just thoughts that we have thought over and over again until we believe them.
  4. You can change your Beliefs by being AWARE of them. Notice what you’re your thoughts are to change them or notice your emotions which are your internal guidance system is showing you your emotional reaction to your own thoughts.
  5. This is what my ACT method is based on. That you can start for free on my website anxiety simplified.net. Be aware to change the thought feeling combination. Then be consistent until you change the belief.
  6. Being Aware of your thoughts is key to be able to change them. Since if these started as a young child, you aren’t aware of them.
  7. Tony Robbins recommends: Change your physiology, standup if you are siting. Change the room you are in. Get lower or higher in relation to a person you are conversing with changes the dynamics. Or Change the meaning your attribute to a thing.  Tony Robbins said change words of angry to: “I am peeved.”  How can you stay angry when you say the word ‘peeved’? In his book ‘Unlimited Power’ create new metaphor for the situation or emotion in your life to change it.
  8. Change your focus- Give a negative emotion 90 seconds then change it to a positive one. Mel Robbins, 5 seconds.
  9. We will hear know from Cara Lumen who has the Deeper Song community as a spiritualist and Philosopher on the way our words effect the way we look at the world so we call can enjoy more.

Join the Conversation

Our favorite part of recording is answering your questions, from Face book at AnxietySimplified.net.  Leave comments in the comment section, we will answer on a Podcast on that subject.  So, listen for your question.  Or share it with someone who may be helped with that answer. 

Our next podcast: Quotes to Overcoming obstacles with Meredith Alexander.

See other podcast at AnxietySimplified.net