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Category Archives for "Emotional Intelligence"

Podcast 66: Social, Mental, Physical, and Emotional Well Being

Improving Emotional Health Naturally for Total Wellness, with a Certified Wellness Coach

I am welcoming back Eva from a previous podcast # 31 called “What do you do when doctors say they don’t know, stages of healing?”

Eva Vennari, NC Nutritional Counselor, and Certified Wellness Coach that I am working with personally and have had unbelievable results from hot flashes, stomach irritation to other gastric issues, rashes, and blood sugar issues that are really turning around using her REVEAL program.

Eva is a formerly sick corporate ladder climber turned holistic practitioner that works virtually with high performers as their secret weapon to stay in the game without burnout. 

emotional health and well being

She says Some of the things that you think you knew about emotional health and well being you will want to re-think to refine your own version of wellness.

She believes in the saying of “Living on purpose with awareness". We revisits what was considered normal and redefine your own level of wellness.

We redefine aging. The level of Inflammation that we achieve by not living on purpose and living more by default ages us. We live by default feeling pressures from people who put expectations on us adding to our stress level that becomes normal.

True stress has to deal with the internal communication within your body. It is the response to your life that can create Inflammation. Inflammation can be passed by generation that can start from the beginning at birth.

mental health and emotional health

For Imbalance of metabolism, even the best products your body may not be able to handle, even if the commercials on TV say so. You need to know what your body needs.

Eva does Hair analysis as your body’s trash report. There is no doorman for everything that comes into your body.

On this hair test she is able to see how your metabolism is working, how you are creating new cells and the quality of those new cells, your hormones if they are being absorb and utilize as well as the toxin absorption and these are all stories where we can get our specificity.

Healing reactions is revealing the older layer of metabolism. The body is now able to correct those imbalances. The body can only heal something when it has the energy it needs to do that job.

social and emotional wellbeing

There are 4 stages to a complete emotional health and well being:

She described the 4 stages of healing:

  1. The body will only deal with the immediate needs, it must Build up the energy needed first. Survival is always first.
  2. Healing process starts with needing to break down what is needed to be healed.
  3. Clear the way of the toxins, parasites, viruses, in layers.
  4. Rebuilding, allowing the body’s natural process of healing to happen with time and patience.

Eva becomes the coach and support system as symptoms arise through the process. 

social and emotional well being

She has scientific methods to analyze the mineral content in your hair with each stage of the healing process to reassess to clarify your body’s needs.

She sees that the clash between the head and the heart is part of the incoherence that causes the diseases without recognizing that we are a whole unit that needs to work in conjunction with each part to create the synergy of healing and optimal health

Eva Vennari’s website is:Theelevateinstitute.com

She is offering a free Chinese Face Reading on her website. You send a selfie, and she will do an analysis that can show you health issues

She has her own Podcast: ‘When the Doctors Say I don’t Know’.

This is by no means a replacement for therapy or any medical attention if you need it.  Always reach out and take care of yourself or if you are feeling like you want to hurt yourself, there is always someone standing by at 1800-273-8255 or call 911.

Go to our website anxietysimplified.net There is a free download worksheet and a Course of Conquer Your Panic Attacks.

AnxietySimplified.net Podcast videos to feel more in control of your life.

ESA Pros.com for an emotional support animal or a Psychiatric Service Dog to go with you everywhere you go

YouTube Channel: Anxiety Simplified Podcast: for the videos of the podcasts

Podcast 57: 10 Life lessons from Dying

Podcast (Audio Only)

You won’t Need to Die to learn what I Learned Dying

This is a true story of how to truly live without dying to learn these 10 lessons from an article by PS I LOVE YOU and my own personal life experience that run exactly as he describes. Everything is energy- we are spiritual beings and we come as energy and we go back to that energy of Source.

  1. There are Angels Among Us, just look around.
  2. Fear Inhibits Living a Full Life
  3. Don’t Be Ashamed to Accept Help
  4. Don’t Be Ashamed to Offer Help
  5. Learn to Meditate
  6. Prayer Works
  7. You and I, We’re the Same
  8. Heaven is on Earth
  9. Space-Time versus Time-Space
  10. Be Here Now

You may have heard these lessons before, but you have never heard them from someone who left this earth and came back with a deeper understanding of living.

This is by no means a replacement for therapy of any medical attention if you need it.  Always reach out and take care of yourself or if you are feeling like you want to hurt yourself, there is always someone standing by at 1800-273-8255 or call 911.

See the videos of the podcast at AnxietySimplified.net

ESApros.com for an emotional support animal or a Psychiatric Service Dog to go with you everywhere to give you the support you need.

Podcast 53: Empower Women Leaders with Resiliency and Grit to Bounce Forward into New Economy part 2 with Pattie Grimm

Podcast (Audio Only)

Inspired Women Channel Inner Vision

Joanne Interviews Pattie Grimm who has a bestselling book Quiet Women Never Changed History – Be Strong, Stand Up and Stand Out.  Her story of the grit needed to set her pathway as a women leader in top tier companies.  Now her mission is to inspire other women to go beyond fear or anxiety.


See Part one Podcast # 52 we discussed how to create a vision to keep the focus to move into a Leadership career uses her strengths with heart.

In part 2 she inspires women to channel their inner Grit and Resiliency to bounce forward from the global Pandemic creating unique opportunities as the labor market needs more women.

5 steps to be an empowered leader and especially on creating your own vision now in part 2 we discussed more what it is going to take for women to want to get back in the workplace and thrive

Pattie is offering a Free Personal Vision Guide – PDF at pattiegrimm@live.com 

Also A Special offer – Get her bestselling book Quiet Women Never Changed History – Be Strong, Stand Up and Stand Out – “Let’s Go Kick Some Glass” for only $10.00 including over $200.00 in free training bonuses and free US S & H.  Go to www.womenkickingglass.com/book

This is by no means a replacement for therapy of any medical attention if you need it.  Always reach out and take care of yourself or if you are feeling like you want to hurt yourself, there is always someone standing by at 1800-273-8255 or call 911.

Videos of Podcasts at AnxietySimplified.net  For an emotional support animal or a Psychiatric Service Dog to go everywhere with you Esapros.com

 

Podcast 51: Companies By Women Outperform Those of Men

Why we NEED women back in the Workforce for America’s Success

I am sharing a special REPORT of how we need women back in the workforce, if we want the US to get back to the #1 Economic power in the world.

Hear the evidence of the difference that women are making in the world as leaders.  And how you as a women can find your strengths to show your value to get back into the work force because we need you right now.

I am going to ask you a Question: Do you know why more than ½ of the 20 million who left the workforce during covid are women?

It doesn’t take me too long to figure it out.  If you are a woman in the work place, how have you been treated during the worse pandemic of our time?  Do you have childcare to go back to work or juggling it all, during the worst pandemic in our lifetime?

Thank and appreciated the sacrifices the women in your life have made, especially during covid being the medical worker and cashier the front line of covid defense. They are making your life better.  

When you get really hurt. Who do you call out for ….Mommy! Who do you run to? It not a corporation or the government.

We are still in a global economic and health crisis and we need women back to make it all better, because the data I am going to share with you shows why.

According to the 2020 Women in the Workplace study, co-authored by McKinsey and LeanIn.org, 1 in 4 women are now considering leaving the workplace or downshifting their careers.

As Many as two million women could leave corporate America.

Stressors  are showing a massive increase in caregiving responsibilities at home and at work may jeopardize women’s ability to stay in the workforce and progress. According to the survey, 40% of mothers (compared to 27% of fathers) have added 3 or more additional hours of caregiving a DAY to their schedule. That is 15 or more hours a week, the equivalent of a considerable part-time job or one of the most stress jobs there is.

We need more women back into jobs, as our superpower for our own interests in global policies and to curb this global economic crisis.

This affects everyone male and female if we don’t get this right, and support the care economy that is being proposed by the current administration and I want to share why this and other legislations that is critical and why you should care and expect more from our government to improve our lives, because Corp America is TOOoo slow to do it.

And most important for all of our futures is for women to show value in the workplace as they come back to work.  You cannot shy away. Stand up for all that you do and your right to have better pay and standards that include taking care of your family AND work.

This goes so much deeper than I realized as I wrestling with my own success as a stretch myself

I asked to find and now have a mentor to help me get where I want to go as a successful woman beyond what I have done with counseling. Raven Glover, The Talk Show Maven, and her own media Agency network and agency Raven International.com to promote me.  She has been awarded by President Obama the Life Time Achievement Award and been on the cover of Founder Magazine.  I am going for it, as we all need help to get to new goals, to offer what I do best. 

I want women in the workplace to expect more. 

I want to inspire women today who are feeling defeated.

I believe we have a social fabric issue in the US. Our values and where we put our resources which shows our value, needs to change.  Families are where our values need to be focused. That is where I see women are putting their time and energy and why they may be leaving corporate America.

Many Women are making an impact on the world of Finance.

Some of the most successful political leaders in the world right now, are women.

In the business world several studies have shown that companies run by women, though still in the minority usually outperform those led by men. Studies have found that firms with a higher proportion of women in the top roles generated better returns on shareholders equity and had stronger balance sheets.

And women have been brought to rescue companies in trouble like General Motors handed Mary Barra the keys and Jan Frazier recently became chief executive of Citicorp.

In a Harvard study: woman scored higher than men on traits such as motivating, communicating and fostering teamwork. Female bosses did even better on tough attributes like decision making and initiative taking.  The same reason some experts say is that men tend to view their careers, vertically as single-minded climbs to the top. Women by contrast, take a broader horizontal approach, building the relationship outside the office and taking career detours into unrelated fields. In fact, those sidestep trips tend to help women become nimble, and creative decision makers.

Overall, there are women running finance ministries in 16 countries, and 14 of the world central banks.

A study by the American Psychological Association showed that US states with female governors had fewer COVID-19 deaths than those led by men. And this

A new Harvard review study reported that woman got significantly better rater ratings in 360 degree assessments of 60,000 leaders, between March and June 2020 Women account for less than 2% of the CEOs of financial institutions and less than 20% of executive board members, but the institution's they do run show greater financial resiliency and stability.

My opinion of why women are more effective, is because of the same use as the great geniuses of the world like Da Vinci or Michelangelo, who were able to use both hemispheres of their brains, the creative, emotional and the logical right brain.  Women have been shown to be able to multitask or have information transferred between the right and left hemisphere fluidly. 

So I hope you take this information to heart and can see its importance of supporting the women in your life, seeing that they have value in everything that they are doing for your family, and appreciate it, and we see them for what they have done to get your family or us through this pandemic, And let's see what they can do beyond that.  Support your women today.

This is by no means a replacement for therapy of any medical attention if you need it.  Always reach out and take care of yourself or if you are feeling like you want to hurt yourself, there is always someone standing by at 1800-273-8255 or call 911. Remember to Share the Love.

Check out the videos of the podcast at AnxietySimplified.net

Contact us at https://esapros.com for an emotional support animal or a Psychiatric Service Dog to go with you everywhere to give you the support you need.

Podcast 50: Mindfulness Practice in Alcohol recovery

Creating a daily practice of Mindfulness Mediation easily

Podcast (Audio Only)

Today’s podcast is special.  It is my 50th Podcast that I want to combine some of the components of other podcasts that can truly change your life, if you choose to implement some new practices.

This podcast is for those who want to achieve a new perspective, to create a new Practice in moments of time to start to understanding how to control your mind, our thoughts and our emotions.

We will include a Vagus nerve breathing technique that will automatically calm you or can use to calm a panic attack, and a mindfulness mediation to pull it all together.

As Americans, we seem to accept that stress is a necessary part of life.  But, it doesn’t need to or need to affect your health, if we can open up to ways of other cultures to draw from them to improve our way of life .

We can keep the busy lifestyles but add mindfulness as we do it.  

We can have it both ways with improved health and vitality.  The summary of today is:

  1. The fundamentals and foundations of mindfulness, the attitudes of mindfulness practice, and the history of mindfulness and how it emerged as a powerful force in our modern health care.
  2. 6 Specific techniques for practicing mindfulness in all hectic life activities, including breathing, walking, eating, exercising, listening, and dancing.
  3. And exercises and strategies for integrating mindfulness practice across the spectrum explored, especially with conditions like anxiety, trauma-related disorders, depression, and unresolved grief.

In this podcast listeners can participate and learn the basics of mindfulness and meditation, consider its applications for enhancing quality of life.

Mindfulness is an ancient meditation the practice of paying attention to your present moment experience, whether it be a sight, a sound, a taste, a smell, a sensation in the body, or mental activity includes both emotions and thoughts noticing life, absent of judgment, that can be practiced for a few moments or for a few minutes sitting in a doctor's office or on a park bench, standing in line or in a practice you can develop sitting for 15 minutes each day.

THICH NAHT HANH is a Zen Buddhist author of THE MIRACLE OF MINDFULNESS, 92 yo teacher, and often referred to as the father of mindfulness in the West, he states: “Mindfulness is the miracle by which we masters restore ourselves”.

In Western medical practice, mindfulness is described as a psychologic state, a practice of mindfulness meditation, and a mode of awareness.

Other authors who focused on mindfulness: Ram Dass: Be Here Now teaching of "be here now" 

In Jon Kabot-Zinn's seminal work Wherever You Go, There You Are, he defines mindfulness as "paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the presence of the moment, and non-judgmentally" as if your life depended on it." 

There are SEVEN ATTITUDES OF MINDFULNESS- a Frameable copy of the seven Attitude of Mindfulness as a gift or Podcast 49.

So lets put this all together in a meditation using these mindfulness skills.

In podcast # 45 I explained Vagus Breathing as miracle way to stimulate the Vagus nerve in a 4 and 8 breathing that sends a calming chemical into your system for panic attacks or general calming.

Create a space in your life for mindfulness practice.  I suggest 15 min. find a place in your environment where you can create nice ambience, have a candle or a jewel or something special that make you love being there. Have your comfortable chair, that when you sit in it is makes you feel special.  Once you establish this space it will draw you into a faster state of peace, just by being there. 

Remember to Practice the Skills shared today to actually live the new outcome for the benefits you will recieve.

This is by no means a replacement for therapy of any medical attention if you need it.  Always reach out and take care of yourself or if you are feeling like you want to hurt yourself, there is always someone standing by at 1800-273-8255 or call 911. 

Joanne Williams FB page at esaevaluation16 

Or check out videos at AnxietySimplified.net

Or go to https://esapros.com for an emotional support animal or a Psychiatric Service Dog to go with you everywhere to give you the support you need.

Podcast 49: 7 Attitudes of Mindfulness

Creating your Authentic Self

Podcast (Audio Only)

Anxiety Simplified and Joanne Williams are celebrating 1 year anniversary doing podcasts every week. I am offering a frameable print of the 7 Attitudes of Mindfulness for your desk to remind you of living mindfulness qualities.

These 7 attitudes can be life changing.

The 7 Attitudes of Mindfulness according to Kabat-Zinn

  1. Being Non-Judgmental- "Just noticing" SIT WITH IT
  2. Beginner's Mind- Approach each new task with an open mind.
  3. Non-Striving-Focus on the process, not just the outcome. "Life is about the journey, not the destination."
  4. Acceptance-Pathway to peace, and "it is what it is."
  5. Letting go- Releasing one's "grip" on a situation. Letting go generally results in a freeing response.
  6. Patience- With ourselves and others. Patience teaches us how to wait with grace. Love yourself the way you are.
  7. Attitude of Trust in the Process- "Life is about the journey, not the destination," Believe in a Higher Self or Source. It will happen when it is Supposed to happen

Start this practice today on a walk today.

Think about how "being in the moment" where there is no fear of sadness this can be practiced with each activity practice mindfulness in activities of daily living?

MINDFUL WALKING

Instructions

  • Think about looking toward the horizon during the walk instead of down at your feet.
  • Consider the art of breaking this walk down into slow motion, as if you are experiencing it for the first time (i.e., beginner's mind).
  • Standing tall, let your heel connect with the earth and allow the front part of your foot to point towards the sky.
  • Very slowly step down, shifting the weight from your heel to the ball of the foot.
  • Shift the weight from the ball to the toes.
  • Deliberately repeat this same motion on the other foot.
  • Continue taking this walk in this slow, deliberate fashion, observing each sensation with a new awareness. Let your walk truly be an exercise in mindful meditation.

This is by no means a replacement for therapy of any medical attention if you need it.  Always reach out and take care of yourself or if you are feeling like you want to hurt yourself, there is always someone standing by at 1800-273-8255 or call 911.

Or go to https://esapros.com for an emotional support animal or a Psychiatric Service Dog to go with you everywhere.

Frameable Print of the 7 Attitudes of Mindfulness

Join us for Our next podcast: The Science of Mindfulness

See videos at AnxietySimplified.net

Podcast 49: Attitudes of Mindfullness

Creating your Authentic Self

Welcome to Anxiety simplified Podcast. I am Joanne Williams, and I am here to share powerful strategies I have used myself and with my clients as a 30 year MH professional to lower anxiety, simply, that you can use too as we Bring this right into your own home or car, we hope this makes your life just a little happier and less stressed. And We really want to thank our Loyal listeners that are making this possible.  So enjoy.

I’m offering a gift to celebrate out 1 year anniversary of during podcast every week I am offering a printable print of the 7 Attitudes of Mindfulness you can print off and have in front of you or on your desk to remind of some qualities, I think we all seek but few find in our Harried American lives and coming out of covid I see that we need more peace in our minds than ever to do a reset on what is important in your lives that can be practiced in the moment or as you go through your day.

These 7 attitudes can be life changing and in Podcast # 50, my celebration of one year of doing podcasts I will do an actual explanation behind it and the medical research of how it works and a demonstration of how to put this altogether in practice. 

 Today I will go over Kabat Zinn ‘s 7 attitudes to use them in a simple task.

The 7 Attitudes of Mindfulness according to Kabat-Zinn support overall wellness. These seven primary attitudes are the foundational fruits of mindfulness practice. By internalizing them, a variety of other attitudes can flow into our lives. Friendliness, gratitude, gentleness, curiosity, non-attachment, non-reactivity, happiness, and creativity as all possible outcomes with practice. Others can include attunement, persistence, confidence, and willingness. Being more in harmony with another human is an especially vital skill for helping your self to feeling less stress and more internal peace, no matter, if the kids are driving you crazy, internally you have a quiet place to be, as chaos is all around you. 

 Being non-judgmental of one's internal processes is at the heart of mindfulness practice. Non-judging refers to thinking, feeling, or responding without the influence of an internal sensor or critic. Non-judging is an attitude of "just noticing" thoughts, emotions, or whatever may surface as relevant. Non-judgment, however, does not endorse behaviors that put oneself or others in harm's way. For instance, consider a recovering addict who is experiencing an intense craving to use a substance following a stressful day. Non-judgment does not advocate that the person should just go out and use, which would certainly be harmful.

Rather, non-judgment encourages the person to just notice the craving, pay attention to it, SIT WITH IT and be with it in a spirit of non-judgment.

Mindfulness, especially if practiced regularly, helps us to become more patient with ourselves. Patience teaches how to wait with grace. By cultivating this attitude, one can not only learn to defer instant gratification, but also to be gentler with oneself when shame-based responses attempt to sabotage. 

Thus, mindfulness practice is a way to RETAIN maladaptive cognitive and emotional responses like anxiety or depression while being gentle with oneself.

The mindfulness attitude that can significantly impact this retraining of the brain is "beginner's mind."

Beginner's mind is approaching each new task with an open mind. Think of the sense of wonder that a child attempting a task for the first time may experience. With this attitude, one can remove an expert's mindset and refrain from living on metaphorical autopilot. 

Practicing any activity with a beginner's mind is also a very effective way to practice non-striving: thinking, feeling, or acting with focus on the process, not just the outcome. The name of this skill confuses many people, because Western culture tends to associate non-striving with giving up. Non-striving does not imply laziness or sloth. 

Non-striving is an attitude that encourages one, even in work, to refrain from fighting so hard. In non-striving, whatever happens, happens. Consider the saying, "life is about the journey, not the destination," which epitomizes the spirit of non-striving.

The final three attitudes of mindfulness are also ideal for enjoying the journey without letting the stress of reaching the destination trouble us. 

First, there is the attitude of trust, or having belief in some unseen entity, such as another person or group or the internal self. One can also practice trust in an outcome that may not be obvious during the journey by believing it is there and it will be reached when it is supposed to be reached.

The next attitude is acceptance, or coming to terms with reality no matter how harsh or unpleasant it may be.

Practicing acceptance can be a pathway to peace, and it does not imply one must "like" the reality in order to discontinue fighting. Acceptance is internalizing the attitude of "it is what it is." Finally, there is the attitude of letting go, or releasing one's "grip" on a situation, emotion, person, thing, or outcome. Letting go generally results in a freeing response (or at least the beginnings of one). This response can clear the path for wellness and growth.

By practicing tuning in to your self first, we all can be more effective a friends or family members nonverbal signals and sense any subtle shifts in energy or relational dynamics. 

  • Can have Connections with others 
  • No Shame or fear which disconnection, or no feeling of I am not worthy. 
  • Being Connected is being vulnerability to another
  • There is a Sense of belonging and feeling worthy in that vulnerability that allows connection.  Because they believe they are worthy.
  • Have the Courage to tell you own story of imperfection. 
  • Being authentic, to feel your own personal worth when you connect with other whether in business or at home. 
  • Or Do something with no guarantee to feel authentic in the skin you are in to practice and see your reactions or defenses that pop up that are protecting you from your own inner feelings or fears.
  • I will leave you with a way to start this practice today on a walk today.

Think about how "being in the moment"  where there is no fear of sadness this can be practiced with each activity. practice mindfulness in activities of daily living?

MINDFUL WALKING

Instructions

  1. Think about looking toward the horizon during the walk instead of down at your feet.
  2. Consider the art of breaking this walk down into slow motion, as if you are experiencing it for the first time (i.e., beginner's mind).
  3. Standing tall, let your heel connect with the earth and allow the front part of your foot to point towards the sky.
  4. Very slowly step down, shifting the weight from your heel to the ball of the foot.
  5. Shift the weight from the ball to the toes.
  6. Deliberately repeat this same motion on the other foot.
  7. Continue taking this walk in this slow, deliberate fashion, observing each sensation with a new awareness. Let your walk truly be an exercise in mindful meditation.

This is by no means a replacement for therapy of any medical attention if you need it.  Always reach out and take care of yourself or if you are feeling like you want to hurt yourself, there is always someone standing by at 1800-273-8255 or call 911. Remember to Share the Love.

Podcast 39: Why your 50s can be your Most Dangerous Decade

How your Children can be Part of the Problem

Podcast (Audio Only)

Why if you can live to 60 years old then statistically you can live to 80 years old.

Joanne Williams discusses

Summary of today: How having Emotional Intelligent or Emotional Quotient can help you live longer.

  1. What are the factors in living through your 50’s healthfully?
  2. EQ or EI what is Emotional Quotient or Emotional Intelligence
  3. My new theory on why living through your 50’s can be especially hard.
  4. 3 things you can do to live a happier life in your 50’s if you start now.

Question of the day is: How are the Habits you form today going to help you tomorrow and beyond.

I noticed something this week that I thought I would share today to help you survive through your 50’s.  I had read an insurance statistic that if you can live to 60 years old you have a much higher statistical possibility you will live to 80 years old.

I had 2 professional colleagues die this year. One a 51-year-old Counselor and a 59 yo mentor.

That made me really think about a syndrome that I have seen now in family friends that I am witnessing that many are dying in their 50’s. And I think it may be from disillusionment, that without meeting the many expectation of family life, career expectation they are giving up on life, because they have not reached the goals that they felt they should have met.

Not to mention a global pandemic adding another level of financial and health stressors or the possibility of losing their homes in their 50s could be financial devastating. According to this article by By LIZ WESTON of NerdWallet 

"If the economy tanks, 50 year olds are the first to go," according to les Weinstock. "Staying current in your field is really important."

And Weinstock recommends that you could ask younger co-workers to help you stay up-to-date with the latest technologies used by your office, for example.  To stay relevant.

"This is a great way for you to learn from someone else and to build more relationships," Weinstock says. Which is key for several reason.

And when it comes to relationships, more is better. Weinstock urges older workers to keep growing their networks, since most new jobs are found through someone you know.

Losing a job is almost always traumatic. In your 50s, job loss can be devastating -- and devastatingly common. He says to;

SAVE MORE, SAVE EARLIER, BORROW LESS

Many people find their ability to save is hampered by the amount of debt they have. Federal Reserve statistics show that households headed by people 45 to 54 years old owed more than twice as much in 2016 as similar households in 1989. There is a big stressor to avoid.

WEAN THE KIDS I will talk more about this in the 3 things you can do to stay happier.

Many parents provide their adult children with some financial support, and it's typically for household expenses rather than emergencies.

I see these as whether you are either accumulating healthy daily habits that will sustain you in hard times or will hold you back.

As I wondered about this new syndrome of dying in your 50’s, I looked at actually five close people, in my life who died, and all were in that 50 yo range.

The 2 close colleague and mentor who died this year were 51 and 59. One died unexpectedly of heart issues and one of breast cancer without telling a soul.

It really made me think that there really is something here, and I suspect disillusionment or depression as part of the emotional components of these deaths, that they may have giving up on being able to keep up with the expectations of life with more pressures.      or Their tendencies own tendency to put pressures on themselves.

Maybe they're overachievers and they're not achieving like they used to. And I think the scariest part of the most misleading part is they appeared very happy.

 I think a lot of times the jolliest of friends or family are the ones we should put more attention on. They seem the happiest, they are sometimes feeling sadness inside and are covering it up with their laughs. And they do fool us. So, we don’t see their sadness, we do not notice them.

I think part of this is denial. Maybe on our part too, but on their part of what's going on or avoidance might even be a better word for this.

I see that If we are not creating good daily habits to sustain our happiness, then it can go the other direction with stress or increased pressers as we age.

Or maybe it is low Emotional Quote EQ or emotional intelligence, EI which is defined as the capability to recognize your own emotions, and those of others and discern between different feelings, and abilities to use emotional information to guide your thinking and behaviors and adjust emotions to adapt to your environment. Daniel Goleman defined EI is typically associated with empathy, because it involves an individual's connecting their personal experiences with those of others.

So, EQ really is about adapting but it's an understanding and how to use emotions in this equation.   Which anyone can improve to feel happier or adapt better to transitions.

This is one of the components in my Thrive system as I work with clients to help them understand the interactions between our thoughts and emotions affecting our behaviors.

I currently putting together a supportive community to build more confidence in social situations, using my Thrive system as an example of how to use EQ. To feel more secure more confident about your abilities as you move into a transition into latter stages of life because I am seeing an increase in depression and without these skills on how to deal better with life pressures, I do believe that it can affect us physically if we don’t figure it out.

You can learn these skills to adapt and make those transitions in life and not to give up or get disillusioned that we aren’t able to keep up.

But if you are noticing somebody that maybe has lost their smile, share this with them, help them to notice, or strongly encourage somebody to reach out to get a different perspective or encourage counseling that is included in all health plans to increase their knowledge of their emotions, or to help them develop something that they truly enjoy in life.

So there are things you can offer a person that you love that is in their 50s and floundering maybe they've lost their job in COVID, or their business in the COVID maybe losing their house.

When things can start to pile on and you've if got teenagers in the home with expectations needing more money, thoughts about college, and the pressure start to mount.

Here are three things that anyone can use, but specifically people in their 50s, to find more purpose and meaning for this transitional time, but needing to make money, be productive, and do all the things that are needed if you do have children still in your home.

So, here's three things you can do today to move you into better Emotional Intelligence.

  1. lower your pressures and expectations on yourself. Sometimes that pressure is internal, it's not even expected of you. But you put it on yourself, maybe you were an overachiever, and just think you need to, or me maybe even take on responsibilities of others that are not even truly yours. That's a really important one to check out. That you're not taking on what I'm going to call other people's stuff, or responsibilities of others that is truly theirs. But if you are a fixer and trying to make sure everyone is happy and but, leaving yourself out. I call it stay in your own lane. What is yours to take care of. Sometimes we think we are responsible for how our children turn out. They have choices and consequences. And I feel that is our responsibility as a parent not to fix things, the messes that they create, but teach them responsible behavior, life skills, emotional intelligence, by your example. So maybe look at what you are taking on for other people's responsibilities but increase also your belief that you can figure this out work towards a five year goal instead of one month ago or one year ago, and Bill Gates said something that we seem to over expect what we can do in one year and underestimate what we could do in five years. So start to look at a five year plan maybe it is financial. What do you need to do get clear on what you want your and what you choose now for this next transition time, but it's called a clarity action plan to decrease your doubts and increase your happiness your enjoyment factor.

 If you're noticing more Disillusioned with life and if you can keep all of these balls in the air, or sadness and overwhelmed or feeling stuck To me, that's the beginning of depression, you're digging a hole and you can't get get out of it. And this is to me when the danger starts that needs to be looked at that people, maybe even subconsciously unaware of what some of their habits behaviors are creating in this depression or truly given up on life and not really recognizing it.

I had this colleague at age 51, that his heart gave out, Is that a metaphor. My mentor age 59 this year, My own brother was just 64, when he died.  But it seemed like the same thing. He just couldn't do the same things, getting up on a roof, fixing things, having the energy to be able to be productive, in competition with the younger guys, making enough money he needed. And it doesn't feel like there's a lot of a support around us to be even able to talk about this.

So even just being able to support somebody to understand not to fix it, but to listen.

  1. Get happy. Change your mindset to I can do this. I will do this. I don’t know How I will do this, but I will. What daily action can you take to be happier? What do you enjoy doing for yourself? That you can do right now? Do you like puzzles, playing cards, take a walk or ride draw. There's coloring books for adults painting, picking up something I can do right now reading, sitting, being quiet. Whatever it is listening to music can be wonderfully relaxing and creating a joyful feeling smile. Smiling is one of the I think most underrated things you can possibly do to feel happier.
  2. increase your EQ or emotional quotient or intelligence. Start by recognizing the four main emotions we all have happy, sad, mad or scared, get used to saying I'm really happy with this when I do this with you. Or when I'm doing this with you, I am really sad, when I see you doing this. Just say it and say, or when you are mad, scare

 Use this to recognizing your emotional state and saying it out loud. Reach out if you feel stuck, overwhelmed and don't allow doubt or expectation from others to get to stand up for yourself. Just keep moving forward step by step to feel happier and just move to be feel more satisfied. And c

This is by no means a replacement for therapy of any medical attention if your need it.  Always reach out and take care of yourself or if you are feeling like you want to hurt yourself, there is always someone standing by at 1800-273-8255 or call 911.

3 things you can do Today to improve your Emotional Intelligence and Live Better.

Here are three things that anyone can use, but specifically people in their 50s, to find more purpose and meaning for this transitional time, but needing to make money, be productive, and do all the things that are needed if you do have children still in your home.

So here's 3 things you can do today to move you into better Emotional Intelligence.

  1. Lower the pressures and expectations on yourself. Sometimes that pressure is internal, it's not even things expected of you. But you put it on yourself, maybe you were an overachiever, and just think you need to, or me maybe even take on responsibilities of others that are not even truly yours. That's a really important one to check out.

That you're not taking on what I'm going to call other people's stuff, or responsibilities of others that is truly theirs. But if you are a fixer and trying to make sure everyone is happy and but, leaving yourself out. I call it stay in your own lane. What is yours to take care of.

Sometimes we think we are responsible for how our children turn out. But know they have choices and consequences. And I feel that is our responsibility as a parent not to fix things, the messes that they create, but teach them responsible behavior, life skills, emotional intelligence, by your example.

So maybe look at what you are taking on for other people's responsibilities, but increase also your belief that you can figure this out work towards a five year goal instead of one month ago or one year ago.

Bill Gates said we seem to over expect what we can do in one year and underestimate what we could do in five years.

So start to look at a five year plan maybe it is financial.  What do you need to do get clear on what you need for yourself,  choose now for this next transition time, but it's called a clarity action plan to decrease your doubts and your debts and increase your happiness your enjoyment factor.

 If you're noticing more Disillusioned with life and if you can keep all of these balls in the air, or sadness and overwhelmed or feeling stuck To me, that's the beginning of depression, you're digging a hole and you can't get out of it. And this is to me when the danger starts that needs to be looked at that people, maybe even subconsciously unaware of what some of their habit’s of behaviors are creating in this depression or truly given up on life and not really recognizing it.

So even just being able to support somebody to understand not to fix it, but to listen.

  1. Get happy. Change your mindset to I can do this. I I don’t know, but I will. What daily action can you take to be happier? What do you enjoy doing for yourself? That you can do right now? Do you like puzzles, playing cards, take a walk or ride draw. There are coloring books for adults painting, picking up something I can do right now reading, sitting, being quiet. Whatever it is listening to music can be wonderfully relaxing and creating a joyful feeling smile. Smiling is one of the I think most underrated things you can possibly do to feel happier.
  2. Increase your EQ or emotional quotient or intelligence. Start by recognizing the four main emotions we all have happy, sad, mad or scared, get used to saying I'm really happy with this when I do this with you. Or when I'm doing this with you, I am really sad, when I see you doing this. Just say it and say, or when you are mad, scare

Use this to recognizing your emotional state and saying it out loud. Reach out if you feel stuck, overwhelmed and don't allow doubt or expectation from others to get to stand up for yourself. Just keep moving forward step by step to feel happier and just move to be feel more satisfied. And c

This is by no means a replacement for therapy of any medical attention if your need it.

Always reach out and take care of yourself or if you are feeling like you want to hurt yourself, there is always someone standing by at 1800-273-8255 or call 911.

Or check out more at AnxietySimplified.net For this podcast and more

Or go to https://esapros.com for an emotional support animal or a Psychiatric Service Dog to go with you everywhere to give you the support you need.

Podcast 34: How to Use Superstitions for Your Success

TThe Superstitions that the Super Bowl Quarterbacks Tom Brady and Patrick Mahomes use every game

Podcast (Audio Only)

Summary of today : How we use Superstitions in our everyday life

  1. Why do we use Superstitions
  2. Reasons we believe Superstition work?
  3. What are the Superstitions that Tom Brady and Patrick Mahomes use

Question of the day is: Do Superstitions work?

Listen for how you can use Rituals and Superstitions like these pros to be a part of the game of a success Life.

As rational as we are as people, we do believe that all things must remain constant to get the same result as some of the most popular superstitions in sport, like for this Super bowl use. Even Tom Brady and Patrick Mahomes have their own Rituals and using objects to have things remain constant.  Even as rational people we all might have a favorite something we imagine will bring us Luck.

Yet Albert Einstein said that “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Then are using superstitions- that are done over and over again expecting the SAME result, Sanity?

Or can we see that beliefs have strong power. Tiger Woods quote -My mind is my biggest asset. ...

Did you ever have a lucky rabbit’s foot as a child?   I remember having one that my grandfather gave to me and I am sure he spun a wild tale about it and how if I keep it with me, no bad can happen to me.  Then nothing bad happened to me that week. So, I gave the power to the rabbit’s foot as the reason. So why wouldn’t we believe in the power of an object.

There is a placebo effect in research of a medications effectiveness, that their efficacy must reach a higher level than he group that were given a sugar pill to show that the medicine works better than our own imagined beliefs in a sugar pill.

We like the things to stay the same, but is that possible?

I could say the same for Obsessive compulsive disorder.  It lowers people anxiety when they have an urge to have things in a certain order or check the door 3 times before they leave.  It calms their anxiety.

Here are some of the most popular superstitions to team sports:

Wearing their favorite team jersey, t-shirt, benie, cap, pajamas, poncho to the game for luck (some people won’t even wash the pajamas, socks, or even blanket (some people won’t even wash them an entire season afraid they will wash away the team’s luck.) 


How about Wearing certain lucky colors or numbers?

Wearing a team cap in a certain way…cap forward, cap backwards or some even flip their cap from forwards to backwards depending on if their team is ahead or behind at the time.

The list goes on with rituals that fans feel they must do to avoid a catastrophe for their team.

Another interesting superstition AFTER the game has been played, has to do with the stock market. It is believed that if an NFC team wins, the market and economy will do better during the year.

Since I live in the Tampa area and I Love Tom Brady, I am obvious jaded, even if I love watching a young quarterback who is making history in front of our eyes with Patrick Mahomes.

My theory on superstitions is that it gives us a since of inclusion in the game and a sense of control over the uncontrollable.

And biggest of all I think we may understand that success is developing habits that will endure to help us to be successful.

Tom Brady has done unbelievable well, going into the 2000 NFL draft, no one expected great things from Tom Brady. The Patriots selected him 199th overall pick, but the quarterback would Will himself to success.

He started his rookie year as the fourth quarterback on the depth chart but, the same thing he did at Michigan, worked his way into the back-up role. When Drew Bledsoe went down at the start of the 2001 season, Brady was the next man up. He would change NFL history forever. Talking about the G.O.A.T.  Greatest of all Time. Was this luck?

Since THAT first appearance, Brady has led the New England Patriots to six Super Bowl titles; the quarterback has been the MVP for four of those games, and he has done virtually everything you can do on a football field.

Tom Brady’s keys to success: Luck, superstition or hard work?

Throughout his football career, Tom Brady has never been the most physically gifted quarterback. He doesn’t run. A great deal of his success stems from his willingness to work hard and refusal to be anything less than the best.  He is vegan and his diet in his book on why he is able to be the oldest quarter back in the league, he gives credit to his diet. But even he has one lucky charm.

Despite the advances of technology, Brady refuses to change his shoulder pads. His current pair actually dates back to his time at Michigan.

“I’ve worn them for 25 years,” he explained on Quick Slants Podcast. “They’ve gotten reconditioned a little bit, but I think once you find something you like, you kind of stick with it. I’ve always kind of liked the way they felt, the shape of them. People have tried to put me in a lot of other ones.”

For this quarterback, the familiarity means that he doesn’t have to think about anything besides his passes. “I’ve been wearing the same thing for, you know, forever,” he said. “You gets used to one thing, one feel.” Given his success, no one can blame Brady for keeping things the same.

One year ago, Patrick Mahomes was one of many quarterback prospects, forced to endure and endless array of visits, drills and offseason activities in the hopes of being drafted by an NFL team.

He was asked about his emotions of last year?  He said that “This year is so much more relaxed. I get to enjoy things, much more compared to before where you’re just trying to get drafted. I wasn’t necessarily nervous, but I was just very focused. Like I said, it was all business. I was kid, but as I grew up and started really falling in love with football, I focused solely on that.

Ever since those days, have you developed any pre-game rituals at all? Mahomes said “I don’t necessarily have any pre-game rituals, but I’ve worn the one sleeve in every single game I’ve ever started. That’s pretty much the only superstitious thing I do.  It goes all the way back to my junior year of high school when I first started for the varsity team. I was out there with a single sleeve in Denver when it was only 11 degrees.

Neither of the super athletes were successful by wishing it to be so, or using superstitions, they develop success habits.

What I am taking away from Brady and Mahomes, is that Brady “willed” his way to success with hard work and always doing his best, and Mahomes loving the game and completely obsessed and focused on it.

What both of these super stars have in common is a will to win. Superstition or not, they have developed daily skills that have worked to get to the level of success that they have developed.

But, they both keep a lucky charm with them just in case.   I think it is the feeling of success of having the lucky charm with them, it is the emotion of confidence that the charm gives them. 

And the reason that we have superstitions, or rituals is to give us a sense of familiar, a sense of confidence and an emotion that we can relate back to a prior success and anchor that feeling of success through that object each time so that it has become part of a success habit and a feeling of security.  Even a blankie as a child serves the purpose of feeling more security and comfort.  We all need that. I hope you can use these as success habits for your life and to have your team win.

Colin Powell, prior Secretary of state: If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception; it is a prevailing attitude. -

If Superstitions are the precursor to repeating daily habits for success, then let us keep the success rituals going in our everyday life.

So instead of doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result, how about keep doing the things that drive success over and over again to continue your success. 

And go to our website anxietysimplified.net for more on how to get certified for an Emotional Support or Psychiatric Service Dog today as your Lucky charm!

This is by no means a replacement for therapy of any medical attention if you need it.  Always reach out and take care of yourself or if you are feeling like you want to hurt yourself, there is always someone standing by at 1800-273-8255 or call 911. Remember to Share the Love.

Podcast 28: 5 Ways to Trick Your Brain into Achieving Your goals

Achievable, Believable, Goal Making for 2021

Podcast (Audio Only)

“Say yes to your Passions and No to Everything Else”  

Summary of today Podcast:

  1. Why have we stopped dreaming?
  2. Join my breakthrough the Social anxiety course to feel in control and confident to know how and what to say to get what you need.
  3.  5 Tricks to motivate you towards your goals

       Question for today is? “What’s the one thing you can do, such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary?”

Why don’t we dream anymore?  Or why did we stop dreaming?  When was the last time you spent time, just imagining- Imaging-seeing-creating thinking about our goals, wants and dreams?  I believe because someone said get real, get your head in the game and stop that daydreaming all the time.  Maybe some truth to that we are really avoiding our everyday dull humdrum life by imagining a better life instead of working on one. Maybe that is why we have the New Year’s tradition at least once a year. Dream again.

I remember imagining I would be a physiotherapist as a kid.  I would help people walk again. I thought it was a cool name to say and the thought of helping people really resonated with me.   Do you remember your first dreams, the classic fireman or nurse?  All helping professions.   There is something inside us that is yelling to get out.  When did that voice quiet down for you? Or do you still hear it yelling out to you to achieve it now? 2/3 of people were found to not be engaged in their work. 

Think about it.  What if you chose this year to actualize a dream to feel success at something that really matters to you?  If 2020 showed us anything that life can change in an instant and never be the same again.   Take some time to think about what is important to you.

Join my Social Anxiety Simplified-Confidence Builders 6 week course using 3 powerful strategies to know what to say and how to say it with confidence while being heard and respected in social interactions. Find the relationship of your dreams, know how to ask for that raise.  Have the confidence to go for that career you always wanted. More at AnxietySimplified.com

Listen to the profound Jim Rohn, the late personal development legend. Rohn said something that left me stunned, says Ayodeji Awosika In his article Use the ‘5-Year Rule’ to Create the Future You Want A proven process for building your dream life

Rohn believed that whatever it is you want to do to change your life — start a business, build a brand, master a skill, or create an amazing network — you could do it in the span of five years.  “Five years doesn’t seem like a ton of time,”

So, in that moment he thought that 5 years was doable and seemed reasonable to commit to.  Where will you be in 5 years? Either way you will be doing something, why not focus on what you really want to create.  Let’s look at some actually proven things you can do.

The part of my formal psychological training kicked in to realize that with positive reinforcement and repetition creates success, which creates more positive reinforcement of liking the good feelings that success creates with that strong commitment to continue and then the belief is created, that I can achieve something once I put these elements together. That is using brain science to motivate us to reach our goals.   I have used this method to counsel 1000’s of my clients unknowingly that this was the pathway that inspires us to reach our goals and have now created a fun way to achieve goals.

The components had to start within each of us for a life purpose and meaning to life.  That is what brings us happiness and excitement.  ½ of people were found to be unhappy with their careers.  Is that you? 50%??

If you are ready to make some changes here are some things you can start today to use:

3 questions to ask yourself to get you going and in the Success Zone I call it.  

Find out what is not right for you?  Write these down.

  1. What am I good at? Or what are my strengths? What comes Naturally to me? Ask trusted friends or family.
  2. How do I learn the best? Quietly, alone, in a Team? Under stress. How can I focus the easiest?
  3. What are my norms and values that are critical I keep? They must match which ever path I take.

So, there is an element of time and persistence to make this goal come true. If you use those five years wisely, you can come out the other side of them exactly where you want to be. Here’s how to commit to the process.

Spend your first 90 days working on your new skill or path with reckless abandon. You’ll get a sense of what success looks like as you make progress, but more important, you’ll figure out whether or not you actually enjoy the thing you’re doing. If it turns out not to be a great fit, you can quit after 90 days without having wasted much time.

An alternative is to use the Rule of 100: Do something 100 times to get good at it. Write 100 blog posts. Shoot 100 videos (something I recently accomplished with my new YouTube channel), record 100 podcasts, pitch 100 potential new clients. Don’t focus on making each one perfect; just focus on doing your thing, over and over. At the beginning, it’s a volume game.

Research shows that it takes, on average, 66 days to form a new habit to do something for 66 days or 6,000, but you’ll never make a change if you don’t have a good reason. What drives change? Pain or pleasure. At some point, you simply can’t stand your current behavior or situation, and you need to do something about it. Move away or towards something new.

The habits I adopted as a result may seem like small improvements, with insignificant daily returns. But because

What is behind this goal.  Are you moving away from something painful or toward something exciting and has a passion driving you??

You choose.  Take the time to really look at this, either direction will get you there.  Did you procrastinate at school, so you had the pressure to get it done?  Or were you ahead of needing it done, so you did not feel the pressure or pain?   You need to know yourself. Which drives you?

How could we possibly be excited about a new life purpose.  From Darius Foroux, article, “Say yes to your Passions and No to Everything Else”.

Set three daily priorities

This is one of the best productivity strategies there is. Focus is what leads to results. It’s the thing that will bring you closer to achieving your short- and long-term goals. But how do you focus when your days are filled with endless distractions? By limiting your options. Each morning be clear with yourself about what you want to achieve. Then commit to completing three or four small, but essential, tasks — anything beyond is a bonus.

Push through the suck

In the beginning, you won’t be very good at the new skill you’re trying to learn or the path you’re trying to forge. You might just be trying to survive. Most people quit in this phase. Don’t be one of them. Why? Because one day, you won’t just get a little better and become a little more successful—you’ll be much better and experience a lot more success. This is where you desire for the outcome MUST be stronger than the suck factor.  What is your desire that you MUST reach?

Check off with your progress everyday, every 7 days and reward yourself at 30 days 3 months 9 months 18 months.

Your rewards will make this doable, if they are big enough to keep you going, but easiest enough to not make it a big deal.  This is where the brain science kicks in and it works to get reinforced even by simple things can hit our dopamine button in our brain for that little hit that will keep us feeling good, as we move towards a goal.

Even a gold star or a check mark, if that makes you feel accomplished and on the right track.  Rewards are a must, just like a paycheck, is necessary to keep us in the game.

This is a piece of advice from reading Peter Drucker, author of Managing Oneself: Use 18-month benchmarks to track your overall progress. This length of time is long enough to give you enough data, but not so long that you create unrealistic goals.

If you lose your way, remember The One Thing

The One Thing by entrepreneur Gary Keller teaches a simple rule to help you stay focused and productive: Ask yourself the question, “What’s the one thing you can do, such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary?” You can use this system to reverse engineer long-term goals into actionable goals and key performance indicators to work on in the short to intermediate term.

When you break things down to the present moment and focus on the immediate future, you’ll look up five years later to see that you’ve achieved a level of progress even you didn’t think possible. Your skills compound, like an investment account. But first you have to start.

This can take some trial and error or time to cement what is just right for you. But, Critical to get into the Success Zone.

What are you ready for this new year.  Write down the 3 questions: What are my strengths? How do I learn or achieve in the best way?  What are my values that are a necessity to have to feel the accomplishments feeling I am looking for. 

If your old thought patterns are the reason that you give up or aren’t finding your niche yet.  Maybe its time to reach out for some help.  Or find an accountability coach or join a course that can help you with that clearing out the doubts between your ears.

I will be starting a new goal this January with a goal focused course that has steps for the achievable believable goals to reach, using brain science to motivate you to the finish line of mission accomplished and there is no better feeling than reaching a goal and feeling successful, no matter how small.  You can find out more at AnxietySimplifed.com

Join the Conversation

Our favorite part of recording is answering your questions, from Facebook at AnxietySimplified5.  Leave comments in the comment section, we will answer on a Podcast on that subject.  So, listen for your question.  Or share it with someone who may be helped with that answer. 

Our next podcast: Dr. S.K. Ramesh shares his ACE method of increasing of conscious awareness with a 90 second unbelievable practice that you can feel and see it for yourself.

See other podcasts at AnxietySimplified.net